'Twas the night 'fore Fat Tuesday

by Mike (aka KreweofShoMe)

'Twas the night 'fore Fat Tuesday and all through the Big Easy, we'd been dancing and boozing, so Masque's tummy felt queasy.

 A seamed-stocking had been hung on the leg at Big Daddy's, while cuffed frat boys outside were being crammed into paddys.  The strippers within proposed a paid "snuggle" in bed.  While visions of STDs danced through our heads. 

 Masque shrieked out a warning, “Y'all watch out for the clap!", while some dude pulled out a c-note, for a dance on his lap.

Masque hiked up her mid-finger, and we deserted that room.  Hitting the street--we saw Tim, Liz and 2XBoom."Linda Blair time!" Masque screamed, "Then take me back where I stay!" She took care of her business, and we sashayed away.

 After Lucky Dogs, Tylenol and something for gas, I drifted to sleep to the Orpheus webcast. Just then out on Royal, there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my rollaway to see what was the matter.

 Away to the balcony, I flew like a flash. Then I slipped on some BUB, and threw up in my trash. As I cleaned up the mess, I'd left quite a stain. The aroma I'd left brought to mind DennieCrane.

 I'd been missing the flashing and mooning below. Rousing cheers filled the air for the T&A show. I flew down the stairs, past the Krewe of the Whip. I ran into Sarg, who helped me give them the slip.

 When what to my swollen eyes should appear, but a Forum parade spreading joy and good cheer. With a bead-laden marshall singing Broadway's best picks, I knew right away that it was Desert Chick.

 Advancing united, from Lafitte's they all came. DC giggled with glee, and she called them by name."I see Rue and the General, MsTrbl where y'at?  On ILAP, on T-Rock, on Swiss and MsBat!!"

 I heard through the din of this most festive squad, a voice quite familiar--'twas my friend, ShowMeTodd. He goaded me on, "You're a pansy...a hermit!. Get your lard azz in gear. We're off to see Kermit!" 

 I thought he was joking, but there stood our Smiler ,Snoop2, Beadbabe, Willy and the "**star man", Krewerider.  Then in a twinkling, Jen's Penis Police they appeared. Though branding tape measure and club--she was not to be feared.

 As she tugged at my zipper, and turned me around, I spotted BadBoyFromOz and MardiGrasBound. They were both toting beads, and seemed all set to go.  For they both carried pages titled "Boobie Manifesto".

 Was I too zonked to sashay and impress Big Wet Kiss? Perhaps I'd feel better if I took time for a piss. I swallowed some Chasers, and downed some fruit juice, provided by Vinx--then spiked by Coonazz and Moose.

 We all left together, a unified krewe and commenced the short walk to El & Jake's House of Blues.  As our entourage entered to hear Kermit play, our group had increased, joined by friends 'long the way.

 MsTrbl took the lead, gave a shout of "Woo-Hoo!" Wintergirl chimed right in, and BigMammoo too!  ICU hoisted Cass on top of his shoulders,  As she searched for Mrs. Jones or Big Al to hold her.

 Soon we were joined by Wackykat and BeadMe, The Tuna, Aloha, OneTooMany, Valkyrie...PartyGras tried every cocktail--not one did he miss.  And MGSenior resembled someone from Kiss.

 We raised the roof on the place, it was a time of great joy. Many showed off their moves, like our own Creoleboy. NolaJester shook his booty, a true pirate treasure. While InasensAngel's "Happy Dance" brought the whole crowd great pleasure.

 Choosing a highlight would be too hard to gauge. There were sure screams of delight when BigSwamp took the stage. But the ladies all swooned when I performed my sashay.  Joined by my ChiTim--foxes begged us to stay.

 When we needed a breather, we tipped our knit caps. The groupies were grabby, so we searched for crowd gaps. We'd wowed them for sure, though it was done on a whim. Multitudes were now sashaying, led by Casino Slim.

 I'd never felt better.  Forumites are the best!! To relax with, to talk with, or to e'en bare their chests. When that thought crossed my mind, I smiled with glee. There was good reason folks called me KreweofSHowME .

 Last call was coming, Kermit's finale was nigh.  But he played even longer after DC caught his eye. Too soon it was over, to all our dismay. But NolaJunkie spoke up, "There's more fun on the way!" 

"Fat Tuesday's still coming!" she stated.  "That's Mardi Gras Day! Men, there's still time to barter with the divine SchraderJ!”

“Let the parade tubas and trumpets blare a clarion call! Costumes, drinking, parades...we'll all have a ball!"

 And the throng heard us exclaim as we second lined through the night, "Laissez Bons Temps Rouler--and to all a good night!"